Entries Tagged 'final blog' ↓

My love

Well hello once again my fellow bloggers. Everyone have a special someone, whether it’s your boyfriend or girlfriend and if not you shall meet yours very soon. I believe God has created everyone’s partner, but it’s up to destiny when one shall meet the other. One might be with someone right now, but that doesn’t guarantee that they will be with that person for the rest of their lives. Five years ago, I fell in love with my first love, but being in a relationship for five years now has made me realize a lot.

                On August 25, 2005 my first love asked me out and I said yes due to the fact that we were best friends, but we didn’t feel the same way about each other, well at least I didn’t.  Sometimes I wonder why I even said yes if I didn’t even think about him that way perhaps it was my instinct telling me to say yes. We went out and had lots of fun, he would always try to kiss and hug me and I would always push him away.  He was determined to get me to fall in love with him no matter what. When we would go out, he would lock the doors and wouldn’t let me in, until I give him a kiss or hug. At that moment I would cry and argue with him, but writing about this right now, it’s making me laugh. He would come in the morning and take me to school and make sure I hug or kiss him. This occurs at least for a year and boy did I give him a hard time. He was in love with me since 2005, but I fell in love with him till in August 2006.

                In June 2006 I went to Guyana and spend two months. In August he came and surprised me and spends the most time with me. We would go to the beach, go in the water or just walk on the sand. He would take me for long drives and every night he would buy me ice cream. Even though he did all of this but, it still didn’t change how I felt about him. We spend lots of time together and these moments happen to be one of the best times in my life, for some weird reasons and remember I had no feelings what so ever for him.

                Well eventually I fell in love with him after exactly one year. The night when he left to come back to New York, I began to feel sad and even cry. That’s when I realize that I actually have feelings for him. Without even understanding how, I fell in love! When I came back to New York he brought me a diamond ring (not an engagement, just a regular diamond ring) for my birthday and made me feel as if I’m the luckiest girl in the world. I eventually start to call him “babe, baby”, and saying those three amazing words “I LOVE YOU”. We started to spend more and more time together, and I even started to kiss and hug him without him even asking or forcing me to.

                But like all relationships, one tends to have problems and in secureness. As time went by we would have our little tiffs, ups and downs, which would make me think that he has someone else or his love for me went away. I would always wonder if I took too long to accept him and his love for me. Sometimes I would feel as if he pushes me away from him and would just start crying; throwing everything that he had given me. Even time when we would have an argument I would say to him “it’s over between us , don’t ever come next to me again”, but it’s a good thing that he never take what I say seriously or else we would have been over a long time ago. He would always tell me that the best part of breaking up is making up. I always tend to get mad at him instantly. Even though he brought tears to my eyes many times, he can also make me smile in a jiffy. There is not a day when we don’t see or talk to each other. He gives me surprises all the time, and they are wonderful surprises. Recently on September 13, which was my birthday he got me a chain, flowers, card and even a teddy bear. Later that evening he took me out for a candle light dinner which was amazing, but that wasn’t the end the surprises. On the following Saturday he plan a surprise birthday party for me which was lots of fun and lasted till 2 a.m.

                As well as for me loving he has taught me a lot and I have learned a lot from him. He gives me a lot of freedom and isn’t like those type of guys that control their girls. But when it comes to me giving him even a little free, it becomes a problem.  I know you must be wondering what type of girl I’m, that I just one want things and don’t like giving, but it’s nothing like that. I have known many guys that when you give them a lot of freedom, they take advantage of it, and perhaps that’s why I have a hard time giving him some freedom. But as time went on, I realize that I just tie him down and if I keep it up, I might eventually lose him forever. So I decided to give him a lot of freedom and if he comes back to me he is truly mine and he always come back to me. The most important of a relationship is TRUST. Without trust everything just go down the drain. In the beginning of my relationship trust didn’t even play a part, (at least from my side it didn’t), but as I began to love him more and more, trust became the strongest point of our relationship. He trusts me completely, but for some reasons I had a hard time trusting him. On the whole I have a hard time trusting people, due to the fact that many times, many often broken my trust and hurt me. But he made me realize if I don’t give him trust, things won’t be that great between us. Nowadays I trust him to a certain extend. I admit I can be a little possessive and controlling towards him, but that’s because I’m afraid that I’m going to lose him. But I also realize that I become so possessive I might just push him away forever, so now and then I try to control myself.

                Being with him for over five years I have learn so much about relationships. He entering my life was one the best thing that could of happen to me. I love him, and I don’t think I can or will ever love another guy the way I love him. I can give my life for this guy and he could do the same for me. He is my first and only love. I shall always love and treasure him.